Where Do You Draw the Line

When Site Banter Stops Being Fun and Starts Being Bullying

This week I was out on site for a routine audit, expecting the usual checks: PPE on, RAMS in place, site tidy — tick, tick, tick. But instead, I stumbled into something a bit different. It got me thinking about a topic we often brush off in construction: when does harmless banter turn into bullying?

Now, let’s be honest — a bit of banter on site is practically part of the job description. It keeps spirits up, breaks the monotony, and sometimes the only thing standing between you and absolute despair on a cold, wet Tuesday is that cheeky dig at your mate’s wonky toolbelt. A laugh or two can work wonders.

And when you've worked for donkey years together, you've got a bookcase of stories you can pull off and tell. Inside key jokes about socks and getting wedged into all sorts of weird places!

But here’s the kicker: there’s a line. And when that line is crossed, it’s not “just banter” anymore — it’s bullying.

What really struck me on that site visit was the site manager’s courage. Instead of brushing it off as “just lads being lads,” he actually pulled me aside and said he was worried. He’d noticed one of the team was "weirder" than usual, a little off, a little different, and it had started to weigh on him. It’s not every day you see someone in a tough, fast-paced environment like construction pause to think about mental health, let alone be brave enough to bring it up.

He wanted to start an honest conversation about where the boundaries should be. How far can jokes go before they’re harmful? How do you keep the site atmosphere light without tipping into something toxic? It was refreshing to hear a manager admit he didn’t have all the answers but genuinely wanted to get it right. That openness is exactly what we need more of on site — it’s how we figure out together where to draw the line, so everyone feels safe, supported, and still able to have a laugh.

So, where is that line?

When it’s personal and relentless. Good-natured ribbing about someone’s tea-making skills? Fine. Repeatedly tearing into someone about their weight, accent, age, or personal life? Not okay. If the joke has become a daily ritual at one person’s expense, it’s probably crossed the line.

When they’re not laughing.

The golden rule of banter: everyone should be in on the joke. If someone’s clearly uncomfortable, forcing a smile, or starting to withdraw, it’s time to hit pause.

When it starts impacting mental health.

We all know construction is tough work. Throw bullying into the mix, and it becomes a fast track to stress, anxiety, or worse. Mental health matters on-site just as much as physical safety. Hard hats protect your head — a decent work culture protects what’s inside it.

What can we do about it?

Check yourself. Before dropping that “harmless joke,” think: is it funny for everyone, or just me?

Look out for your mates. If you see someone on the receiving end looking awkward or upset, step in. Sometimes a quick change of subject is all it takes.

Speak up. If banter’s gone sour, have a quiet word with the joker or the person affected. Small interventions can stop big problems later.

A little reflection from me

That audit this week? It was eye-opening. The site’s no less fun now — just fairer.

So yeah, a joke on site can make the day fly by. But let’s not lose sight of the fact that we’re all human underneath those hi-vis vests. Being kind costs nothing, and you can still have a laugh without making someone else’s day that much harder.

Anyway, that’s my soapbox done for the week.

Stay safe, look out for each other, and keep the banter friendly, folks.

And remember guys and girls we do have Lighthouse construction

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